Feeling Not Good Enough
by Animation Universe 2005
Summary: This is my new KFP fic to see, and I'm sure when you read it, you'll scream 'OMG' It's a suicidal edge for our Dragon Warrior. T for suicidal thoughts, just to be safe! Enjoy!
1. Depression

This would be the edgiest Kung Fu Panda fic ever. It so awesome to see, but by the time you read this, you'll scream OMG! Snap, that rhymed. Well, anyways, enjoy!

--A.F. '91

* * *

Feeling Not Good Enough

by: Terrell James

Chapter 1: Depression

Po sat down on his bed, looking troubled and depressed, thinking that his dad thinks he's not good enough on being the Dragon Warrior, because he stills wants him to take over the restaurant and get rid of being the Dragon Warrior. There's a part of him that's still tearing up inside of him that maybe he lost faith in being the Dragon Warrior based on what his father thinks.

For the last 5 1/2 days, Po has been in his room feeling sad and angry inside of him. This wasn't like him being depressed and angry. He's usually energetic, happy and funny around his friends and on his own. Based on his father's hope for taking over the restaurant, Po felt as if he doesn't want to be the Dragon Warrior anymore.

He shed one tear on his eyes, feeling so hurt and destroyed inside like everything his father thought was a lie. He hung his head down low and walked around the room and then laid down on the floor, sighing and groaning.

Then, came a knock on the door and a voice came out, "Are you okay?"

There was no answer. The door opens and in comes Crane, looking concerned. He puts his wing on Po's shoulder and asked, "What's wrong?"

Po sat up and said, "I don't know, Crane. Do you think Oogway made a mistake on me being the Dragon Warrior?"

"No, of course not. Well, yeah, at first, but now, after you defeated Tai Lung, he didn't make a mistake on that." said Crane.

"I know. Sometimes, it feels as if I'm not good enough."

Crane was shocked when he heard those words that Po said. He said, "Of course you're good enough. We all know you're good enough and we believe that."

Po sighs and said, "Sometimes, I don't know what to do."

"I'm not sure what I can tell you, but I hope you're okay. And by the way, don't tell yourself you're not good enough, because you are." said Crane.

He walked out of the door and Po felt so angry and sad inside of him, that he just want to do something to himself. He played his iPod and sung along to it, feeling so gloomy.

_I open my eyes_

_I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light_

_I can't remember how_

_I can't remember why_

_I'm lying here tonight_

_And I can't stand the pain_

_And I can't make it go away_

_And I can't stand the pain_

_How could this happen to me_

_I made my mistakes_

_I've got nowhere to run_

_The night goes on_

_As I'm fading away_

_I'm sick of this life_

_I just wanna scream_

_How could this happen to me_

_Everybody's screaming_

_I try to make a sound, but no one hears me_

_I'm slipping off the edge_

_I'm hanging by a thread_

_I wanna start this over again_

_So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered_

_And I can't explain what happened_

_And I can't erase the things that I've done_

_No I can't_

_How could this happen to me_

_I made my mistakes_

_I've got nowhere to run_

_The night goes on_

_As I'm fading away_

_I'm sick of this life_

_I just wanna scream_

_How could this happen to me_

Po starts to think that he felt as if he's not needed and feels as if everyone would feel a lot better if he's not around anymore. SO he starts writing a note that basically made sense and let out some thoughts, suicidal thoughts as he finished singing the song.

_I made my mistakes_

_Got nowhere to run_

_The night goes on_

_As I'm fading away_

_I'm sick of this life_

_I just wanna scream_

_How could this happen to me_

As he wrote his suicidal note, a few tears fell down on the letter and after writing it, Po curled himself up in a little ball and starts to cry. He looked up and thought of ways of himself and that nobody would care. So, he went out of his room with a few items in a bag and took off the Jade Palace without another word.

Later on, Mantis and Crane walked to Po's room to check on him. They knocked on the door and there was no answer. Totally silent. They were starting to get worried and they came in the door and sees an empty room. Mantis asked, "Where is he?"

"I don't know. He should be around here somewhere." said Crane.

Mantis looked around his bed and sees Po's note lying on the floor. Crane looked at the note and asked, "Where did you find this?"

"It was on his bed while I was looking around." said Mantis.

"What does it say?" he asked.

Mantis looked at the note and read, _"Guys, I feel as if I'm not good enough being the Dragon Warrior. Because of that, I don't want to disappoint my dad because he wants me to take over his noodle restaurant and give up being the Dragon Warrior. Sometimes, I think he thinks I'm not good enough and it really depresses me based on our talk last week. I felt like I let you guys down, I let myself down, but I let my father down and I feeling that way. So, it's better if no one knows I'm still here. Later on tonight, don't bother trying to find me, because you'll see me hanging on a rope, unconscious. If you didn't know, I'm thinking about so everyone will be better off without me. I hope you still remember me. Hope everything is fine without me in your lives, but know that you guys are like my family and I really love having you around. Po."_

Mantis and Crane were severly shocked after reading the note. They both started screaming and just completely lost it.

Crane panted furiously and asked, "Why would Po do that?"

"I don't know! This is completely the worst-case scenario we've come across." said Mantis.

"What's going on here?" asked Shifu, along with Monkey, Tigress and Viper.

"We could hear you scream while we came in." said Tigress.

"Something's wrong, isn't it?" asked Monkey.

"Where's Po?" asked Viper.

Mantis gave Shifu the note Po written and as he read it, Viper, Monkey and Tigress were looking at it, and they were all in shock. Shifu dropped the letter on the floor and said, "Po's gonna !"

"Duh!" Mantis and Crane exclaimed.

"Why would he do that?" asked Viper.

"Something about his father and that he feels as if he's not good enough to be the Dragon Warrior and that he won't disappoint him." said Mantis.

"We've got to stop him!" exclaimed Shifu.

"We don't even know where he is." said Crane.

"Who knows the way to Mr. Ping's place?" asked Viper.

"We all go there, Viper." said Tigress.

"Whatever! Let's go find him!"

They all sprinted out of the Jade Palace to find Mr. Ping's restaurant. When they got there, Mr. Ping was about to close the place, unaware that it's an urgent message.

Mr. Ping saw them coming in and they looked deeply concerned. He asked, "What's wrong?"

They all tried to catch their breath and Shifu said, "We've got a problem."

"We found this in Po's room in the palace and it's completely shocking." said Mantis.

Mantis gave the note to Mr. Ping and he read the whole note and ended up shaking. Then, Shifu said, "This may not be easy for a father to hear, but Po's gonna ."

Mr. Ping, trying to breathe, tried to hold himself together and said, "I can't believe Po would do something like this!"

"Even we don't believe it." said Viper.

"Where is he?" asked Mr. Ping.

"We have no idea."

"We got to talk him out of this, immediately!" exclaimed Viper.

* * *

That song was "Untitled (How Could This Happen to Me)" from Simple Plan. Hope my new KFP fanfic is interesting with a suicidal edge.


	2. Father to Son Conversation

Here's how it all ends. So, I hope you love the ending. This chapter, well... you might want to get some tissues. So, this is heartfelt.

* * *

Chapter 2: Father to Son Conversation

Everyone went in different directions trying to find Po and desperately trying to talk him out of suicide. They checked in the Pool of Sacred Tears, but he wasn't there. They tried every place in China, but Po was nowhere to be found.

Later on, Mr. Ping felt guilty about the conversation he had with Po and wishes he could've done something to prevent it. Crane looked at Mr. Ping and he looked sad. He walked up to him and said, "I'm sorry about this."

"It's not your fault. It's mine. If I hadn't have been so crazy about Po taking over the restaurant, we wouldn't have been in this situation." Mr. Ping said.

Crane sighed heavily and said, "Maybe it's just pressure because I'm thinking he loves you so much that he's afraid you'll be disappointed in him."

Mr. Ping looked at Crane and realized that it was the answer from his son's depression that caused him to do suicide. He felt scared for his son, knowing that trying to please him was just too much. He looked up at Crane and told him, "You're a good friend."

Crane chuckled softly at that comment and said, "Your son is lucky to be around."

"Thank you."

As they all went across China, they saw Po sitting on a hill, with a rope, standing near a tree, thinking about hanging on a tree branch with a rope on his neck, possibly thinking about dying. As Po kept looking at the sky, Mantis snuck out and swiped the rope to keep the Dragon Warrior from killing himself.

He came back and Shifu looked at the rope and asked, "Where'd you find the log?"

"From under the tree. I thought if I stole the rope, he wouldn't ." Mantis explained.

Shifu liked the idea that Mantis did and thought that it should keep Po from suicide thoughts. As Po turned around, he saw that the rope is gone. He became a little frantic to search for the rope and then he asked himself, "Where is the stupid rope?"

"You mean this rope?"

Po froze, then turned around and saw Mantis and Tigress holding the rope from their grasp. Po looked a little puzzled, but then said, "Give me back the rope."

"We can't do that. Because we don't wanna see you kill yourself." said Tigress.

"It's totally painful, not to mention, dangerous and ridiculous." said Mantis.

"Look, I'm sorry, but it's the only thing to do to avoid so much pressure."

"It doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that we need you here. Who's gonna joke around every day?" said Viper.

"Yeah, and who's gonna help us with our problems?" asked Monkey.

"Who's gonna keep us entertained with your amusing ways?" asked Crane.

"We still like having you around and your energy, sense of humor and happiness has been around us since you became the Dragon Warrior. I think our lives would suck without you there. Without you, it'll be gloomy." said Tigress.

"As much as I'm touched by your comments, I still think I'm not good enough." said Po, sadly.

"You're wrong. You are good enough, panda." said Shifu.

"Who says?"

"Listen to Shifu. You _are _good enough."

Po heard the voice come out of nowhere and recognized that it was his father's voice. Mr. Ping appeared and got in front of his son and looked at him in the eye and wanted to have a conversation with his son. He asked, "What's wrong, son?"

Tears were about to fall from his eyes, but tries not to let them fall in front of his father. Crane, Mantis, Monkey, Viper, Tigress and Shifu realize that they need to talk alone and they walked out of the hill and let Po and his father to talk.

Po sighed depressedly and asked, "Do you think I'm good enough at anything?"

Mr. Ping wanted to say no, but tried not to hurt his son's feelings, and said, "You're good at almost everything, but that doesn't mean you're never good at anything."

"It's just... so hard to try to please you and I wanted to keep you happy, so that I'll still be the Dragon Warrior. After defeating Tai Lung, everything about my life has changed completely. Since our talk a couple of days ago, I... I don't know, I just feel like I just--" Po began, but his father said, "Disappoint you?"

Po nodded his head, sliently and Mr. Ping held his son's chin and looked at Po in the eye and told him, "Son, you know you would never disappoint me. Haven't I always been proud of you in everything you do? When you told me, you don't want to take over the noodle shop, it hurt me a little, but I realized that it's your life and you should make your own choices. If you want to be the Dragon Warrior, I can't stop you from making that decision. I was so focused on wanting you to take over the restaurant so badly, I focused on myself and I'm sorry for that. When you saved half of China, it made me realize that you're growing up to be the son that I always wanted... the panda that I'm so proud of."

Po felt the tears coming from his eyes when he looked at his father feeling happy. He whispered, "I just want you to be proud of me."

Soon, Mr. Ping's eyes were filled with tears also, and puts his hand on Po's shoulder and whispered, "You've already make me proud and I'm extremely more proud to be your father."

Po smiled and starts to give him a hug. His father took the hug too and gives him one back. Po whsipered on his shoulder, "Thanks, dad."

Soon, they heard someone crying from behind the tree and a voice said, "That's so beautiful."

Mr. Ping and Po soon looked at the tree and saw Crane and Viper tearing up behind them. Po laughed and said, "You guys can come out now."

Soon, Crane, Viper, Monkey, Mantis, Tigress and Shifu came out of the tree, one-by-one, looking relieved and emotional throughout the whole conversation.

"How long have you been hiding from the tree?" asked Mr. Ping.

"Long enough." said Tigress.

"Anyway, I'm glad it all worked out. We'll be inside if you need us." said Tigress.

They all went back to the Jade Palace, and also Mr. Ping started to walk back to the restaurant until he heard Po singing.

_Lately I've been thinking_

_About the things that we've been through_

_And I don't know if I'd be here_

_If not for you_

_I had to take a little time_

_To try to work things out_

_And you should know that _

_I have never meant to let you down_

_Cause I, I  
Wanna tell you that I'm sorry  
And I, I  
Even when I'm not giving enough  
And I'm taking too much  
You're still there for me  
Even when I got nothing at all  
And I'm ready to fall  
You're still there for me  
There for me  
There for me_

_Even when I can't be there for you  
You're always there for me_

Soon, Mr. Ping started singing along with his son, feeling lucky to have each other, as father and son.

_Sometimes I know I can be  
So hard to understand [Po: (It's ok)]  
Even when I'm lost  
You show me who I really am  
_

_Life with me hasn't always been an easy ride  
But because of you I've learned  
To lose my selfish pride  
_  
_Both: Cause I, I  
Wanna tell you that I'm sorry  
And I, I  
Even when I'm not giving enough  
And I'm taking too much  
You're still there for me  
Even when I got nothing at all  
And I'm ready to fall  
You're still there for me  
There for me  
There for me  
Even when I can't be there for you_

Po: _Oh, you're always there for me, yeah_  
_Oh, I know it's love_

Mr. Ping: _Ooooouuhhh_

Po: _(Oooohhh)_

_It must be love  
_Both: _Ooohhh  
It's gotta be real love (It's gotta be real love)  
_

_Even when I'm not giving enough  
And I'm taking too much  
You're still there for me  
Even when I got nothing at all  
And I'm ready to fall  
You're still there for me  
There for me  
There for me_  
_Even when I can't be there for you _

Po: _When I can't be there_

Mr. Ping: _Even when I can't be there for you  
_

Both: _You're always there... for me_

Mr. Ping and Po gave each other another hug and he asked, "You gona be okay?"

"I'll be fine. I'll still work at the restaurant if you want me to." said Po.

"That's fine with me." said Mr. Ping.

"Take care of yourself."

"You, too."

They both walked off and then Po stopped and looked back on his dad and said, "I love you, dad."

Mr. Ping looked back and saw Po, smiling and said, "I love you too, my Dragon Warrior."

Po sighed and looked at his father going back to town in his restaurant and he started walking back to the palace, unaware that Shifu was standing in front of him, looking impressed.

"How long were you standing there?" Po asked.

"Long enough. Your father's a good person and you should be proud to be his son."

"I am." he said, with a smile.

* * *

Well, that's it. I wish I could've done more, but I have to end at this. That song was "Still There for Me" from Corbin Bleu and Vanessa Hudgens. It's a very heartfelt story. Dedicated to my friends: Wolf Mystic, ILoveAnimatedOutcasts,Open Season Fangirl5000, Spyro-N-Kungfupandafan, SkytheHawk, Awerewolf, randomkungfupandafan, Artistwerewolf, Skyyler, corset-rebellion-redflower, , The Geeky Brunette, Telracs 1994, turtlegirl5, Ducky'sgirl4ever, PandaPo and every reader here. Hope ya like!

--A.F. '91


End file.
